Photoshoot Bloopers & Outtakes [Round 10]

I always leave it way too long between blooper sets, often because I’m too backed up with collaborations, but also because they take so much longer to do than I think they do, so they’re not the easy-to-schedule posts that I like to tell myself they are. As a result, I have literally hundreds of bloopers stored up that I can share with you, so in this downtime between the end of the summer and before the AW18 season begins to really ramp up, I gift you now with another installment of me looking stupid and messing up shots. You’re welcome!

: Let’s start gently, with a typical example of forgetting to open my eyes & an awkward AF smile

: It happens. Sometimes in this creepy way where they’re only half open in the shot and I look plastered

: Like, super super drunk

: Although things could be much worse than an awkward face, even this one, because I could decide it would be fun…

: TO TRY POSING WITH PROPS. AND BE VERY WRONG ABOUT THAT

: VERY VERY WRONG

: SO WRONG IT’S GENUINELY EMBARRASSING

: I mean, I know the concept of high waisted jeans are sassy, but that doesn’t mean when I put them on I become a cooler person in earnest

: BECAUSE CLEARLY I DON’T

: OH MY GOD, THAT’S IT, WE’RE MOVING ON.

: Yes, haha, let’s laugh about it, because if I don’t I might cry

: …No, seriously, sometimes I get the giggles and then we have to regroup

: Although, sometimes I may as well not bother regrouping, because what is this?

: Oh good, we’ve reached the part of the shoots where I start to get bossy about what orientation I want the next set of pictures in

: Because the words ‘portrait’ and ‘landscape’ escape me on a shoot EVERY TIME

: Resulting in this delightful ‘can you turn the camera up like this’ sign language that is typically only 50% effective.

: But don’t worry, I also get bossy about how far away I want my kind friends and family to stand when they do me the favour of giving up their free time to help me shoot

: Which is great, because I wouldn’t want to have ugly pictures as a result of only ONE type of bossiness

: Tbh, I can’t quite tell if this is a portrait/landscape request gone wrong or a very weird spasmic shoulder adjustment. Both are V possible

: Don’t believe me? Ooooh boy, do I make some weird adjustments

: In this one I even managed to almost fall over

: I mean…just, how??

: I am saddened to admit I stick my tongue out in concentration every time I try to find a pocket

: Or check a piece of hair that I can feel got caught up

: Or when I just sliiightly lose my balance and stagger a step to the side

: There’s adjustments that give me double chins

: There’s adjustments that I just CAN’T explain, like this one

: And others that take place while I’m listening to what my photographer is saying as I walk to a new position, resulting in an alarming serious and unflattering face

: Although, better alarmingly serious than…whatever the hell this is

: And this, god damn!

: I mean, this was a self-timer shoot, and yet I still didn’t manage to make my adjustments before the shot was taken

: I can’t even explain how this one happened, not simply because of the failure of both my face and entire body, but also THE FACT THAT I GOT THE TIMER REMOTE IN IT TOO? HOW AND WHY DID I EVEN PRESS IT FOR THIS?

: I am certain this adjustment is about stopping my dress from twisting round and not, as the photographic evidence suggests, a grope of my own boob that left me angry

: This is clearly just an awkward handbag hand swap

: And a badly timed hair swipe

: Dear God, have you ever seen a woman plonk herself down on a step with such dignity and grace? JEEZUZ

: Can anyone explain why I appear to be attempting a nice skirt twirl while being facially fed up? Because I cannot

: I also cannot explain why I was pulling the Wallace & Gromit ‘cheese Gromit!’ hands here

: And despite the fact that I LOOK like I am trying not to pee myself, sadly the reality is I thought this might look wistful. I was very much mistaken

: And this might look like I’m trying to do the robot, but actually I just fucked up the self-timer activation, as I so often do

: Let’s pause now for a spot pf Itsy Bitsy Spider, because why not?

: Nothing like a bit of blind ‘I’m a little teapot’ to keep things moving

: The self-conscious ‘is anyone watching?’ check of shooting in public

: Sometimes when you shoot in public people walk through your background, which you would think would be understandable…

: Except not to me, because then I become an angry mime threatening beheadings. You know, like we all do, hahaha I’m very sane it’s fine please still like me.

: Now I know here I simply look as though I have given up, but actually I HAD SPOTTED A DOG!

: AND I SPOTTED A DOG THIS TIME, TOO!

: For this the wind clearly didn’t want me to keep my hair

: And then I got a bit grabby about it while also being very tired.

: ‘Um, Miss, I don’t think you’re supposed to let them do that?’ SHUT UP AMY, YOU NARC

: HAHA, OH PIER LAMP POST, YOU ARE SO SO FUNNY, HA HA HA, EVEN FUNNIER THAN SALADS AND YOGURT

: I guess I was just in a goofy mood, because what am I doing here?

: I should not be having this much fun shooting spring/summer outfits in February at the English seaside

: Because if you couldn’t tell before, my face here might give you a clue about how cold it was

: What am I seemingly measuring in mid-air with such sadness?

: It would be easy to say ‘got it!’ to my photographer when I think we can switch backdrops, but why do that when I can charge off silently?

: I mean, it works out great every time.

: This very slight level of uncertainty is definitely what readers want from their pinups

: Probably better than when I decide to go a bit loopy and attempt some cheesecake pinup fun…

: Because then this kind of shit happens

: And let’s be honest, it’s an embarrassment to us all

: It doesn’t work for me and it’s lame

: STOP IT, YOU LOOK LIKE A TWAT, AMY

: Yeah, see, you almost fell off the wall and now you’re acting like it was funny because your heart missed a beat

: This insistence on a visible tongue during moments of ill-balance is probably preferable to the cheesecake, tbh

: Oh. Well. Maybe I spoke too soon

: Ok. You’re tired and fed up on outfit number 4, WE GET IT

: DEAR GOD JUST PUT IT AWAY

: Ah yes, my familiar ‘someone might have seen that, whoops’ “comedic” face of regret

: Can you tell that I could feel a bug on me?

: Probably not, I’m very good at subtly brushing away insects without making a scene, because I’m a professional

: Just like I’m good at deciding to change my expression just as the photo is taken, resulting in sexy, sexy gems like this. Oh wo00ow

: The serenity of this failure is sort of calming

: Although this expression of realising the cat has found me and will likely ruin the next few shots might outdo that

: ‘Seriously, cat, are you about to ruin the next 5 minutes? Now is not the time.’

: Admittedly, my face can ruin a shot all by itself without any pets necessary

: And my hand, my stupid hands can get the timing wrong and make me look like I’m confidently trying something real dumb

: Possibly there’s nothing stupider than me getting the timing so wrong on MY OWN SELF-TIMER REMOTE that I manage to catch myself by surprise by the PICTURE I TOLD IT TO TAKE

: This is the face of a woman who can feel that the wind is doing something dumb to her bangs

: The wind was markedly less subtle on this day, despite my apparent surprise at its appearance

: And yet I thought it was worth trying to twirl…what a fool

: Just a touch of existential dread settling in mid-shoot, seemingly

: OH GOOD, ANOTHER MISS-TIMING WITH THE SHUTTER RELEASE, I ALWAYS LOOK SO GOOD IN THOSE

: It’s like I pressed the remote and then completely forget what I was doing. ‘Why am I in the garden?’

: Better or worse than this smug bitch acting like her coat makes her better than you??

: Don’t worry, smug bitch is actually a fucking moron, exhibit A:

: Oh look, smug bitch broke her vintage brooch, NOT SO SMUG NOW, HUH LADY?

: I mean, I wish I could say this isn’t really my ‘fixing it’ face but it truly is, and that hurts us all

: I’LL JUST PUT MY BAG HERE IT’S OUT OF FRAME RIGHT? NO ONE CAN SEE IT RIGHT? COOL

: Speaking of out of frame, I maaaaay have got my framing just a wee bit off with this one

: Also may not have been quite ready for this picture, methinks? Just a hunch

: Hmm, curious, I’m laughing, wonder why

: Huh, it’s almost like something was distracting me that day. I wonder what it…

: IT’S A DOG, DON’T PANIC FOLKS, IT’S A DOGGO OMG KEEP CALM

: Not at all desperate to try to get the dog to come see me, even though I am trying the cat fingers-rubbing trick that totally doesn’t translate

: IT WORKED, SHE CAME TO SEE ME

: AND SHE WAS A WHIRLWIND OF ENERGY AND WE COULDN’T GET HER TO STAY STILL FOR A SECOND, can you tell?

: DOG’S LEAVING SO YOU MAY AS WELL GO AS WELL, GOODBYE LUV U BOTH

6 thoughts on “Photoshoot Bloopers & Outtakes [Round 10]”

Evett on August 28, 2018 at 6:33 pm said:

LOL as always, this left me with a huge smile on my face! I love the bloopers 🙂

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- missamymay on August 29, 2018 at 1:12 pm said:
  
  Always pleased my silliness can entertain 😀
  
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Sarah on August 30, 2018 at 6:29 am said:

I think this might be your funniest set yet 🙂 much giggles. Also I do the tongue thing while looking for pockets too, and I’ve done it so many times when the dress doesn’t even HAVE pockets, the BETRAYAL.

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- missamymay on August 30, 2018 at 8:16 am said:
  
  Oh God, when you think a dress has pockets and then it doesn’t, CUTS SO DEEP! The pain.
  
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patticakespinup on September 6, 2018 at 7:16 pm said:

You commentary on these is solid gold! I know exactly what’s going through your head when you look at these hahaha, you still look stunning in every outtake though, awkward sexy-semi-closed-eyes and all<3

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- missamymay on September 6, 2018 at 8:08 pm said:
  
  Lol I don’t think we can claim a single one of these is sexy, but you’re a sweetie, as always, I’m gonna keep you 😂
  
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