Bloopers & Outtakes [Round 4]

That’s right, it’s that time again, time for me to show you all the most awkward, unattractive, and downright weird outtakes from more of my blog shoots. You’ve probably got a pretty good grasp of the kind of nonsense that happens by now; I talk to my sister between shots, except she doesn’t stop shooting; I misjudge the timing and end up with my eyes closed as the picture gets taken as if I’ve spontaneously fallen asleep; I get a bit stir-crazy on shoots where we photograph a few outfits back to back and begin to pull faces, or dance, or shut down like a malfunctioning robot. You know I do that, I know I do that. So have I stopped all the malarkey and got my act together? Of course not! If you’re looking for a professional you’ve come to the wrong place. But if you like your bloggers to be vaguely childlike numbskulls? Oh honey, I am your girl.

Let’s go!

: Let’s start out gently, shall we? With the most unconvincing first shot of a shoot ever

: It’s like I was in the middle of saying something and completely forgot what it was

: This is how it begins. I think ‘I’ll break up the serious poses with something a bit cute’

: Then I do it a bit more…

: It begins to warp into something else…

: I talk in silly voices as I pull deeply unflattering faces, prepping for bad poses…

: And then I begin to go completely off the rails

: I start to act like I’m Peter Pan

: You know, because obviously that’s a real win?

: And then I completely lose my shit

: Because, sure, karate kicks of supreme awkwardness, that’s what every shoot needs

: After expending all that energy, I need to figure out if this is safe to eat

: Eh, it’s probably fine, I have no standards

: Sometimes I decide it’s time to warm up by dancing between shots

: And by that I mean I bust out the preferred dance moves of my 2yo niece

: Oh god, please stop, people can see this

: And now the wind is getting involved, which is great because it is ALWAYS helpful

: Another day, another chance to fall asleep on a shoot

: Okay, that’s very nice but why do I only have one leg though?!

: Standard adjustment shot

: Good, more closed eyed shots. I hope you’re not bored of these…

: Because there is literally…

: …A never ending supply of them…

: Am I ACTUALLY asleep in this one though?

: Woken up, decided to be a moody pout monster

: Right, and now I’ve just entirely given up

: Just. Beauty and grace, right there

: Trigger the remote shutter release, get heel caught in bridge. Pro all the way.

: OH HEY, I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE HERE SO I CAN SHOW YOU HOW BAD I LOOK IN ALL THESE PICTURES

: but wait, I think I feel a bit drowsy. You don’t think I could be…getting sleepy…do you?

: OF COURSE

: BECAUSE ALL I DO IS BLINK AT BAD TIMES

: And then react like a real lady about it

: Wow. Just wow. Look at how hard my eyes are trying not to close–and losing the battle

: But why are you talking as you attempt a walk shot?

: Looking pretty smug about my idea to take pictures in the tree

: Bit awkward mixed with that smug, trying to get into position, but I was feeling confident

: Be, cute, I thought. That’ll work. It’ll be adorbs

: Only, it was a balancing act. Literally

: And the cuteness began to be outweighed

: And AHAHA NOW I’M FALLING WHOOPS

: Okay, let’s just get on the ground and try some swirling shots

: Because those always go so well. [Sarcasm]

: Don’t get upset, Aimz. That’s your dramatic sad child face

: Wow. That is such a good look for you. Do that always around single men

: Yes, that’s much better. Now you’re a munchkin

: And now you’re just talking through all the shots. A winning strategy

: Yes, I was sassing you again. Let’s move on

: One of my favourite ever shots is from this upcoming scene, but to get it I had to battle against the wind and my camera strap

: Like, seriously

: Also, can we admire how unattractive and worried glaring into the sun can make a woman look? Great

: We begin this shoot by accidentally losing half of my body proportions in a tree.

: And then I spend some considerable time trying to find my pockets

: Ah, but then, then we realise maybe we can make it look like this tree behind me is my Boo Peep’s crook

: And I would apologise for it, but I’m not sorry

: Did you hear me? NOT SORRY AT ALL

: Okay, done with the hat now though, this tree can hold it for me

: I dub thee, My Hat Tree

: Speaking of trees, I bet I can climb this one…maybe?

: And then look gross and preoccupied by it

: I just don’t know why I even bother sometimes

: End of the shoot means changing back into the sensible footwear that helped us trek to the location

: Which means, yes Aimz, your old wellies. Very nice

: Okay, you’re weirdly excited about the wellies

: Literally never seen anyone so pleased with their rubber boots

: Oh, okay, and sassy about them too, right, interesting

: Okay you’re making it weird now, jog on

: Bit of standard unflattering strap adjusting

: Hang on, are your eyes going–are you about to–

: Yep, immediate blinking

: Even once we switch locations, so much blinking

: Wow, are you trying to be alluring at the same time as fighting a blink?

: No, wait, uh oh, looking cheeky now. What’re you doing?

: Ah. Yes, some childish tongue happening.

: I suppose it’s important you keep yourself entertained though

: But how does this work?

: AHA! Figured it out. Pretty proud of myself

: Maybe a bit too proud. Okay Aimz. Don’t–

: –Yeah, it’s not a sword, stop it. Just put it away

: Aww come on, don’t look so sad about it, I just didn’t want you to break it, kiddo

: Remember how awkward I feel waiting for lighting settings to be tested?

: Yeah, that never goes away

: Neither does me weird half-sneer I get between changing expressions

: Well that’s not flattering. Do something different

: Sure, play with your shawl, that’ll help

: Yes, Aimz, I was being sarcastic, because you were being crap

: Okay, fall asleep, much better

: Oh…hey, creepy stalker Maimz, what, uh…whatcha doin’ there, girl?

: That is a seriously awkward smugness you got going on, kid

: No, now you just look really wooden and weird AND sleepy, it’s super unconvincing

: Did you hurt your arm? You look like you’ve hurt your arm

: Sleep sassing?!!?!

: Just straight up sleeping

: On flat ground and yet almost falling over

: Sleep it off, bound to help

: Did you find some left over Nutella or something?!

: Well, at least you can laugh at yourself, I guess

: NOPE

: Alright, so it’s a bit windy, you can probably work through it

: No? You don’t look convinced

: Well, at least you’re smiling through the failure I suppose

: You’re going to need to hold your collar down as well as the back of your skirt, FYI

: Mate, literally everything that can catch the breeze now has

: Okay, be cute and dainty as you come down the stairs…

: Nope, you’re not doing it right. Okay, forget the stairs, try it over here…

: Jesus Christ, Aimz, do you even KNOW how to walk?

: SLEEP WALKING?!

: You look a bit like you’ve just seen a spider but you don’t wanna be a wuss and kick up a fuss about it

: That is the least convincing smile ever, Sleepy

: That’s not as charming as you think it is

: Alright, that’s kinda cute, but only like a rabbit with a gimpy leg or something

: ‘Oh God, is that a bug?’

: You couldn’t look any more bored and uninterested

: Which means it’s lighting test time!

: Time to start attempting a twirl again, is it? You sure?

: Right, okay. No, sure, have at it

: It really looks like it’s going great. (Naaaaaht)

: No, it wasn’t working. Yes, i’m pretty disappointed too

: Are you trying, like, at all?!

: Do you even understand what posing is?

: Wonderful, time for more lighting tests. I’m sure I won’t start doing anything dorky to pass the time

: Oh right, I lied

: I am 100% pulling the dork out to play

: And singing Disney songs too, because that also photographs well

: Oh crap, time for twirls again, okay, we’re bracing ourselves

: Your hand looks like it could do with a brace though, did you just break it? What’s going on with that?

: Literally the least graceful thing ever

: I can almost see your pants, please give up

: Sure, have a little sleep, you’re probably exhausted from all the failure

: Oh. And more lighting tests

: At least I took the rare opportunity to be graceful about it this time

: And to really display my poise

: Showcase my class

: Unlike this time, where I decided to pull McGonagall levels of disapproval at nothing

: And then show off my huge ears

: Because that’s what people wanna see in their pinups, a resemblance to Dumbo

: That’s just not really helping much

: Neither’s that

: IT’S NOT GETTING BETTER, STOP THE FACES

: You’re basically a giant woman child

: Correction. A giant woman bug.

: It’s just tiptoeing, why are you finding it so hard not to fall over?

: If you didn’t clock this as a lighting test shot then you haven’t been paying attention

: Sleeping on the job again, forever and ever, amen

: And now I have the giggles

: Yeah, you should feel awkward, have you seen what you’ve been getting up to in these?!

: Oh, you’re unperturbed. Okay, this’ll be good

: Alright, sure, second chance…

: Nope, you ruined it

: I know you don’t drink, but are you sure you’re not drunk!?

: No. No, don’t. Please don’t–

: –SIGH. Start dancing like your niece again

: ‘I’M SLEEPING, CAN’T HEAR YOU, SORRY’

: Okay, shall we make up? Yeah, okay, I’m sorry too, I’m sure you’re doing your best

: Wait, why are you smirking like that?

: Oh. Because the faces are starting again

: Augh

: Do you EVER stop?

: You’re repressing a laugh again, aren’t you?

: Fine, forget it, Giggles

: AND NOW THE SLEEP AGAIN

: Let’s return to more of this awkward lighting-test stuff

: …For all of 2 seconds, which is how long it takes before I start busting out with more of this

: Aaaaand more blinking

: Trying to make it cute that I’m about to tip over off my tiptoes

: That move didn’t really save it, no, but good try

: Laugh about it all you want

: Why are you now a bunny!?

: You’re just being silly for no good reason now

: What, what’s that face?

: Oh god, no, are you about to…Please don’t tell me you’re going to start

: Sigh. Twirling again.

: Aimz, you’re really bad at it, bun

: It’s just easier if you don’t

: Don’t look like that about it, I’m just being honest with you

: Just take the face off and stop, okay?

: Don’t get stroppy about it

: I’m trying to help

: And now the sarcastic, sulking attitude. Wonderful.

: Wow, flipped right back to being a silly dork, huh?

: You’re being, as my mother would say, ‘a little imp’

: Dancing like the niece again, I get it

: At least I crack myself up, I suppose

: Like, a lot. Look at that goddamn level of glee

: Let’s just say goodbye and pretend this never happened

5 thoughts on “Bloopers & Outtakes [Round 4]”

CiCi Marie on March 29, 2016 at 1:38 pm said:

I only wish I looked HALF as classy as you do in your outtakes and not like I am Queen of the Gurning in every single one. Honestly, it’s so bad it caused my boyfriend to say ‘But… I’ve never seen you look like that in real life’. What I have learned from blogging: I am NOT attractive when I talk. Or blink. And if I’m not doing one I’m doing the other.

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SaraLily on March 29, 2016 at 2:15 pm said:

So much fun – I love your captions! I sit here giggling to myself like a maniac. THANKS! 😉

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Evett McLaughlin on March 29, 2016 at 6:35 pm said:

LOL the camera straps are the best. You freakin’ crack me up ❤

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Deva Jasheway on March 30, 2016 at 3:42 am said:

Lol I love the stalker pic!

Your other leg is a tree.

But serious, that Vivien of Holloway sarong dress looks killer on you and I need one.

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Ruby Feldman on April 1, 2016 at 11:09 pm said:

You are my hero! I just today posted a YouTube episode that I am not proud of but you in a way inspired me to post it anyway as a partial as a funny hahah laughing at myself….I mean if we can not laugh at ourselves…. thank you!

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