It’s time again. Time to look behind the painted glass at what it really looks like for a vintage blogger to get her weekly outfit photos. From battling wind and rain to the frustrations of passing traffic and the general public walking in and out of shot (how dare they!), there’s a lot of ways a blogshoot to go wrong…and that’s without taking into account my face. Oh, my poor face. Let’s laugh at it.
-
- Let’s start off small. A deeply unflattering face shot
-
- A bit of awkwardness of not being ready for the shot
-
- Then BAM! I’m terrible at this. What was I even doing?
-
- Because I wasn’t twirling. This is what I look like while I fail at twirling.
-
- I lose feet.
-
- Not this. This is all the wind’s fault
-
- But this is just me being weird, I hold my hands up to that
-
- I don’t even know, I guess I was hungry
-
- HELP!
-
- Sometimes I play the Hamilton soundtrack while I take pics and then this happens
-
- Also this, omg please stop.
-
- Gotta take those phone breaks from all the awkward hip hopping
-
- I see you dere, I see you
-
- No, srsly, I really see you
-
- More Hamilton excitement between shots
-
- I call this: Unimpressed Strict Headmistress
-
- And I call this: OMG please someone take away my blog, people can see this!
-
- Alarmingly like a Homer Simpson burp
-
- So hungry, so faint
-
- Well done Aimz, you almost looked nice and then that damn MOWF POUT
-
- There’s a car coming, isn’t there?
-
- Y IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME
-
- Talking through pictures, all the damn time. It’s not storytime, Amy!
-
- ‘Aimz, I’m ready to take the pic’ ‘Hang ON, I’m having nail issues’
-
- Disconcertingly like the face of a disgruntled bull, right?
-
- I can’t even explain why my face is so anguished. Am I really hungry?
-
- Who has two thumbs and an unphotogenic face? This girl!
-
- Kind of just giving up
-
- and then making myself laugh, because I’m a goddamn moron
-
- Sometimes countryside blogging means wiping sheep poop off your shoes
-
- I’M NOT READY AND YOU KNOW IT
-
- Why do I do this to myself?
-
- Mouth, you forgot your mouth again.
-
- when your skirt is possessed by a ghost
-
- I am so very graceful and good at balancing
-
- Just some ladylike adjustments, no biggie
-
- Why the tongue?!
-
- Don’t look at Myrtle and her shopping, look at me!
-
- You’re using clutch bags wrong
-
- Forgetting how feet work
-
- Annoyed that cars keep coming, it’s like they think this is a road????
-
- No, I’m cool, I know how to stand upright
-
- NOPE I LIED
-
- Sigh. I wish I could say there was a bug or something, but honestly I don’t even remember
-
- Giant child in front of the camera
-
- Oh just stop it now!
-
- Help I keep falling!
-
- ‘Hello, Maymee speaking. Can I call you back? I’m being crap in front of a camera rn’
-
- AHHH THIS TREE IS SO HUGE, IT MADE ME FAINT
-
- Probably shouting nonsense directions across the road tbh
-
- Now the tree is so big it’s funny??
-
- I’m really popular, sorry, g2g take this
-
- When my niece wants to take the pics
-
- And I make sure we stay professional and focused
-
- No, wait, THIS is the Homer Simpson burp
-
- And this is where I forgot how to put on gloves
-
- I mean come on
-
- I also don’t know how to hat
-
- Wistful woodland napping, it’s the new thing
-
- Sitting in a tree laughing, totally normals
-
- Oh, right, still laughing
-
- My mum told me the camera dots ‘lined up well to be your nipples’
-
- When I fall, I make sure my face stays relaxed
-
- The picture of the sound ‘arghgh!’
-
- Mid sneeze. So glam. Much luxe.
-
- All this failure makes me tired
-
- ‘Whaddaya mean I’m terrible at this?!’
-
- ‘I know how to pose naturally–wait, nope’
-
- ‘Well I can keep my eyes ope–nope. Damnit!’
-
- Acting as awkward as I really am
-
- Am I petting that branch??
-
- Adjustments are not supposed to be photographed
-
- Either I’m describing the length of something or doing the big fish dance, either way I’m not happy about it
-
- Why do I look like this twirl is happening TO me??
-
- Alright, happier now but still bad at twirling. Stop. Trying!
-
- Not what Tyra meant when she said to find your light
-
- That is the most unconvincing picture ever
-
- ??????
-
- Is this how you stand? I don’t know how to stand anymore. How’s my face? X_X
-
- Definitely not using the door as balance, definitely not falling over AGAIN
-
- Definitely not falling so badly I have to laugh as it happens
-
- ‘What did you call these things again? Feet? Right. And they do what exactly?
-
- What about this one? Is this one a feets too?
-
- I thought I might look graceful doing a jump-twirl. I was mistaken.
-
- why can’t I control my mouth?!
-
- Or my eyes?
-
- Did I just step in more sheep poop?
-
- Screw it, I AN AEROPLANE
-
- Chatting in the dramatic lighting
-
- And always bloody laughing
-
- Haha, there’s a bit of wind
-
- Okay, a bit more wind
-
- HALP IT IS TAKING MY SOUL WITH IT
Miss Amy May 
I still say you don’t look half as bad mid-talk as I do… I guess one day I’m going to have to prove it, but when your own boyfriend nearly cries with laughter about how awful you look in certain photos… I did make a kind of resolution that I’d think about doing a blooper post this year, you’re spurring me on… But I don’t think my caption skillz would be as good as yours!
LikeLike
Ahahahahaha – this made my day. Which needed some making. Blooper reels are THE BEST. Seriously. I’m glad I’m not the only one who trips and falls and steps in things. And the twirls…for every good shot, there are about 12 million where I look caught in a wind tunnel. =)
hugs,
-Kara
http://www.thedressedaesthetic.com
LikeLike
I think blooper reels definitely help remind people bloggers are just normal people who are often no more photogenic than the average person, lol. Plus, they’re just downright funny!
LikeLike
Ok, now do “Strict headmistress+wistful woodland napping. While twirling.”
LikeLike
YAY! Fantastic all the way through! Damn those cars trying to drive on roads! Though I share the frustration – you could find the most private of places and only when you start snapping pics, PEOPLE AND CARS SHOW UP! Arg!
LikeLike
That is ALWAYS the way! There’s quite a few quiet places near me where I could potentially take my tripod to shoot uninterrupted, but omg it’s so embarrassing if you’re there alone and then people begin to come by walking their dogs and wondering wtf you’re doing.
LikeLike
š My favorite posts! Thank you for making me smile, Miss Amy May!
LikeLike
So much fun!!
LikeLike
well now I love you more. Simply adorable! x
LikeLike
Aww shucks! You’ll make me blush ā¤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so glad I’m not the only girl doing a double thumbs up with a derpy expression! Where does that come from?! I never made a conscious choice to start making double thumbs up a thing?
LikeLike
I dunno, I guess we’re just super cool like that?? (Yes, you should of course picture me saying that to you with a derpy smile and double thumbs up, lol)
LikeLiked by 1 person