Everything is rubbish at the moment, I think we can all agree. So what better time for us all to come together and laugh at me, my stupid face, and some of the dumb shit I’ve done on camera? Indeed. Let us begin!
I mean, sometimes I just lose balance ON A FLAT SURFACE IN FLAT SHOES. What the hell?!
-
- Let’s start off easy; a deeply unattractive ‘sleep’ shot
-
- How about a wildly misjudged attempt at framing?
-
- Sometimes the bad shots are totally my own fault because I press the button on my remote too early
-
- Very occasionally my mum takes the pics, and she looooves taking photos when I’m not ready
-
- Like, seriously, she loves it
-
- Truly, LOVES it
-
- It makes her giggle
-
- She looks at the back of the camera to see how unflattering the shot is then giggles away!
-
- It could very well be the only reason she agrees to help me, tbh
-
- But sometimes it my fault, because I start talking to her when she’s ready to take the shot
-
- Or I decide we’re done and begin walking off while my mum is still taking photos
-
- I mean, sometimes I just lose balance ON A FLAT SURFACE IN FLAT SHOES. What the hell?!
-
- My lack of grace is the fault of most of my bloopers, honestly. Like this one
-
- And this one
-
- And–oh ffs, why do I think pulling a deliberately grotesque face when I wasn’t ready for the shot is better than just letting it catch me unawares?!
-
- Then again, this grotesque face was purely accidental sooo…which is worse, really?
-
- Let’s move on to general nonsense
-
- Like this malfunctioning robot
-
- Do you think the sudden gust of wind caught me off guard here, perchance?
-
- My fear that the gates were about to suddenly open
-
- The fact that this was, apparently, called for??
-
- And how truly done with the world I look in this photo
-
- Don’t worry, I’m a poor accessories model too–didn’t quite manage to get my body out of frame for this shot, did I?
-
- And I’m just so disappointed with myself
-
- Which may or may not be better than this, me being abundantly pleased with myself and so very convinced that I’m charming
-
- When you suddenly spot something alarming out of the corner of your eye
-
- Oh no, sad shy girl, must mope near the tree
-
- Oh good, neither my hands nor my face were ready for this shot
-
- Which was probably still better than this frame though
-
- Something tells me there was some ‘did I get it?’ eye or face problems happening here!
-
- WHY DO I PRESS MY REMOTE SO OFTEN BEFORE I’M READY TO POSE FOR THE SHOT 2 SECONDS LATER?!?
-
- Jesus, even some boob adjustment? AMY YOU ONLY HAVE 2 SECONDS, THAT’S NOT ENOUGH TIME FOR BOOB ADJUSTMENTS
-
- Or to make sure I’m not treading on my own dress, apparently.
-
- Or to find the pockets on a dress. I fail to find them literally all the time!
-
- Or to remember my face needs to be, you know, not awkward af
-
- The sudden fear for my hat in the wind producing one of the most unflattering photos ever
-
- Turns out I should’ve remembered skirts catch the wind too
-
- Maybe things will go better if I sit down…
-
- ‘What’s the lighting like?’ I ask, blinded
-
- I promise I was not pouting like a small child, but that photo doesn’t suggest that’s a truthful statement, does it?
-
- Oh good, my mum was back to taking photos when I was adjusting myself
-
- Sometimes I just lose the will to live mid-shoot
-
- HAHA I AM SO CHARMING WHEN I FROLIC, AREN’T IT? AREN’T I??
-
- Skirt swishing photos are SO MUCH HARDER THAN YOU REALISE, I swear to god!
-
- You know…I think maybe the lighting isn’t quite right here??
-
- Bit windy, possibly?
-
- Sad fish lips, anyone? No, not an attractive expression for a fashion blog? Huh.
-
- What about this mug? Also a no? You astound me
-
- Doesn’t look like it would be too hard to safely position my feet on the top step, and yet see me struggle
-
- So pleased with myself, it seems, for not falling after that easy feat
-
- Dramatic in a hedge. Very fashion, much chic
-
- My face when I imagine having a husband. ‘Err…why?’
-
- Speaking of faces, OMFG
-
- I just…what??
-
- Am I choking on something?!
-
- Look, I don’t even know.
-
- Can you tell the wind was causing hair issues?
-
- Good day, fine fellows!
-
- Look, in winter my nose gets sniffly, OKAY? I shoot outdoors, IN ENGLAND!
-
- Sometimes a particular sequence baffles me. Here, just an out of place hand. Fine. But then?
-
- My mother taking photos when I’m positioning myself still? Okay, sure.
-
- But what’s going on here?
-
- And this? WHAT’S THIS?
-
- Here’s the thing; why am I never ready?
-
- Oh very fetching
-
- The incredibly ungainly feet positions, the wind in the skirt, the cardigan grab. All perfect!
-
- I thiiiiink trying to find that piece of hair that keeps tickling my eyelashes no matter how many times I swipe at my face?
-
- Walking across flat ground should not require that much concentration
-
- I call this one, simply, ‘YIKES’
-
- Oh, another excellent job at framing, 10/10
-
- Am I…about to levitate?
-
- Look, honestly, during this period I had a lot of foot pain so getting down those 3 steps was hard…and yet my mum was like ‘hahaha, def need a pic of this shit’ LOL DAMNIT MUM
-
- The face framing claws! The almost shut eyelids! *chef’s kiss*
-
- I think maybe there was a *touch* of wind???
-
- This is a ‘if you’re going to take a picture when I’m not ready, Mum, then I’m gonna give you something to show for it!’
-
- Again. Stupid faces when I’m not ready aren’t necessarily an improvement.
-
- Was I trying to channel an uppity horse? Because…this is so embarrassing it hurts
-
- Why am I so serenely asleep when I HIT THE REMOTE TO TAKE MY OWN PHOTO?
-
- Majestic
-
- Another superb composition, hang this in a gallery!
-
- I just…why am I this way? Why did I take this picture OF MYSELF?
-
- Oh god, it gets worse. I *suspect*…PERHAPS…I was a bit fed up and clap happy that day??
-
- It’s just a hunch.
-
- I might have been trying to cheer myself up with nonsense… *sighs*
-
- Speaking of needing cheering up; GEEZUZ christ, Aimz!
-
- We could pretend I’m starting a shoulder-shuffling dance but obviously I am, as ever, still adjusting myself between shots. MUM!
-
- My face when I realise someone has appeared in the far distance and might spot me alone, in a field, all dressed up, taking pictures of myself. RUN! (I did)
-
- I could be starting a very dramatic modern dance piece, for all we know
-
- Another my-mum-behind-the-camera snap, of course
-
- MUM! FFS!
-
- That’s it, you’re fired! (From this free favour you do for me a handful of times a year! Yeah! Bet you’re gutted!)
-
- Sometimes when it’s windy I try to lean into it with cuteness, but it doesn’t work
-
- And eventually I just end up like this
-
- And like this, resigned to a futile attempt to protect my hair
-
- So…I guess I was falling in love with this wall
-
- Oh no! The wall has forsaken me! My anger and heartbreak is total! Stay back, wall!
-
- Such beauty. Such grace.
-
- Looking for pockets, picking off a stray bit of thread? Honestly who knows
-
- Failed taking a usable photo but here’s my giant child smile to see you off! BYE GUYZ!
I want to end this post with a reminder that everything you see online is carefully curated; yes, showing you these bloopers is supposed to be a fun way to remind you that perfect seeming content streams exclude the variety of unflattering, unusable shots that went into creating those streams. But even these photos above are only the ones I could bear to share with you, and there are always dozens of ones that are so unflattering that I delete them on sight, my ego unable to stand the notion of them continuing to exist in the world, let alone make it into these galleries for lolz.
Everyone has blemishes and bad angles and totally shitty days, so please remember, especially now when everything is so exhausting and isolating, that people online only show you the parts that they’re comfortable showing you, and that their highlight reel (or even their bloopers) should not be something you compare your everyday life to ❤
I hope you are coping with the trying realities of daily life in the pandemic, and please talk to a loved one if you’re struggling. Sending you healthy and sane wishes!
____________________________________________________
COVID-19 NOTE: Most of these pictures were taken before the pandemic began. The few included that were taken after it began were either taken alone in my garden, or were taken–when allowed to do so during time frames in which my area was not in a lockdown–alone by myself in secluded, outdoor spaces with strict social distancing measures abided by.
Miss Amy May 
I absolutely loved these! Your mum’s shots, honestly, just brilliant x
LikeLike
She can’t be trusted! 😂 this is why I always tell her she’s a cheeky monkey
LikeLike
Lol yay these are my favourite posts! All hilarious except for “dramatic in a hedge” which I kinda think you should make your banner or something because it’s actually amazing
LikeLike
Haha maybe it just felt silly because the hedge was so overgrown and the background was too different to all the autumn-leaves shots I was getting the rest of the shoot 🤷🏻♀️
LikeLike
I mean the pose is pretty extra 😛 but we aren’t here to swoon over sparkly vintage-style floof dresses for fear of a little extra. You look beautiful 😘
LikeLike
Hi Amy, Do you remember where the wicker bag was from in your ” poor accessories model ” photo ?
Love all the outtakes made me smile – thank you
LikeLike
I do indeed! It’s by Ellen & James, that photo was from a review several years ago so I don’t know if that specific bag is still made by them but if you search ‘Ellen and James’ here on the blog it should give you the original review including links to their site and that bag
LikeLike
Brilliant! I did try to find it on a previous post first but was unsuccessful. Just checked the website that style is sold out but so many other lovely options. Oh dear my bank account is going to suffer.
Eve
LikeLike
One reason I like your blog is you don’t take yourself too seriously while always looking stunning! Awhile back I saw some Victorian blooper type photos and this reminded me a bit of that. Great fun! Loved it 🎀
LikeLike
Aww, that’s so sweet, thank you! I do enjoy silliness in life, there’s no point in taking inconsequential things too seriously 🙂
LikeLike
Absolutely made me chuckle on what has been a god-awful day. I love bloopers, it’s nice to know we are all ultimately crackpot at times. And your mum is fab!!
LikeLike
I’m sorry you had a bad day, but I’m glad I could make you smile 😊 If we weren’t all crackpot before we definitely are now, anyway 😂 And my mum is widely deemed ‘the cutest’ by everyone that knows her, so that checks out! 💕
LikeLike