I’m always honest here on the blog, there would be no point in offering you size and fit reviews if I wasn’t, but I’m about to be honest in a way that’s probably going to upset some of you: I don’t like Halloween. I actually kind of…hate it. Yeah, I know. But spiders? Hate them. Bats? Sure, I get that they are kinda like cute winged puppies in stasis, but in motion I would not want one of those suckers flying anywhere near my person and my easily-tangled hair. Pumpkins? I think the only acceptable shade of orange is rust, otherwise it’s ugly AF, so a tasteless bumpy vegetable that is glaringly orange obviously will not win me over. Spooky things? Nah, I don’t like being scared or anything close to it; I think people who enjoy being spooked must have evolved from the hunters of our species. My over-cautious, risk-adverse brain, contrarily, definitely evolved from a long line of quiet clan members who volunteered during each hunt to stay in the cave to count out what remains of the firewood stack.
Halloween is not for me and it’s aesthetic kind of grates on my visual nerves. Sorry not sorry. Big time shrug emoji, y’all.
Why is this relevant, I hear many of you mumbling to yourselves through gritted teeth and memeified clenched Arthur fists? Your slimy green blood is boiling, you’re trying hard resist the urge to smash your new ‘ghoulfriends’ mug on the floor in slighted rage. Well, it’s relevant because I know for many of you this dress is automatically a hALloWeEn dReSs, and because it is very Beetlejuice I must concede the fact that, yes, it really is a very good Halloween dress. But it is also just a black and white dress, and that monochromatic style-tabula rasa is something I am much more here for.
